My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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