Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
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