Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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