If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
