that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
