so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
