Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
