u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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