problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
