there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
