I want to stick my p in your. b.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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