you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
