the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
