We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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