it's like iHOP with fire
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
