break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
