For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
