i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
