Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
