a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
