You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
