I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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