I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
