absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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