How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
