I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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