I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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