the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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