oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
