I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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