so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
