Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
