you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
