There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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