two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do vagina's smell?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize