Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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