Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
