it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
