I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
