We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
