Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
