After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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