omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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