the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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