i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
