why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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