Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
