I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
