hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
