i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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